I was on the track team during my junior year in high school, typically competing in the mile and half-mile races. I won a few and lost a few more. 

One weekend our team was competing in an invitational at Edwardsburg High School (Michigan). I arrived at the event ready to run the mile race in the morning, instead coach told me I would run the half-mile race after lunch. I preferred the shorter race, but I was annoyed the coach placed me in the “slow” heat.

Determined to show coach I deserved to be in the “fast” heat, I ran like never before. My best time in the half mile before that day was 2:07. On this Saturday, I ran the first quarter mile in 57 seconds. A record pace for me. The next 220 I ran in 28 seconds. I was on pace to set a new school, track, and event record.

Then it happened. The bear.

It track lexicon the “bear” is the invisible force that makes running nearly impossible. Your legs grow heavy. Each step a struggle. Just as if you were trying to run with a couple hundred pound bear on your back. As I rounded the final turn, my field of view collapsed to a point, leaving me looking at blackness. Then I collapsed on the track.

Shortly after hitting the ground, I heard a teammate ask coach, “should I get him?” “No” coach replied.

I got up and walked the last 40 yards to cross the finish line, finishing in 2:17.

I had never collapsed on the track before. Never did again. But on that day, the bear got me. Bad.

Part of it was likely the lack of food. Getting up late, I didn’t eat breakfast because I didn’t like to run on a full stomach. By the time I learned I would run later in the day, it was too late to eat before that race. Part of it was running too fast for the distance. Apparently I just wasn’t built to break a 2:00 half mile.

Fast forward four decades and the bear is at it again. Not in a foot race, but in another journey. My faith journey.

For the past few months, the bear has been jumping on my back every time I “turn the corner” on a new way of living. Every time I try to surrender another, bigger, part of myself to God.

Just as the bear in running, the forces jumping on my back in my spiritual walk are invisible. Unlike the bear, these forces are real. They are evil. 

Note: I am not sophisticated enough in my faith to understand all the theological nuances between terms for evil in the Bible. Satan, Devil, Beelzebul, and Belial are just a few. I simply refer to him/it as evil.

Peter saw fit to use another animal for his metaphor, the lion.

Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1Peter 5:8 NASB95

Be it a lion or a bear, the result is the same.

We are constantly under attack from evil. And the closer we grow to God, the more frequent and intense the attacks.

I try to practice the Sabbath on most Sundays. No work (job or at home), no technology (except perhaps to watch sermons online), and time spent on reading the Bible and prayer. Not one Sabbath this year has gone as desired. Every Sunday, something happens. Something interrupts my quiet time. Something prevents me from time alone with God.

That something? Evil.

I hope there is a point in Spiritual maturity when evil gives up and goes away,

Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. James 4:7 NASB95

This often heard verse is encouraging, but difficult to understand. The context in which it rests is one of submission and humility. Yet we are supposed to be strong enough (proud enough?) to resist the devil. In Ellicott’s Commentary for English Readers, I found this:

He will flee.—Or, he shall flee. “The Devil,” says the strange old book called The Shepherd of Hermas, “can fight, but he cannot conquer; if, therefore, thou dost withstand him, he will flee from thee, beaten and ashamed.”
Ellicott’s Commentary for English Readers

“… withstand him and he will flee from thee, beaten and ashamed.”

Even this is exceedingly difficult. Withstand evil? How?

This past Sunday is a good example. Coffee poured, Bible open, enjoying the company of three dogs and the view of a beautiful backyard (I was house and dog sitting). I thought I would finally have my Sabbath. But no. The phone rang and there was an issue at work. An issue that needed to be dealt with immediately. It turned into a six-hour endeavor. No Bible. No prayer.

The work is not evil. The work is a blessing and is God’s provision for me. But the work, in that moment, was a test from God or an attack by evil. Yes, it could just be a coincidence. But those coincidences have been happening in different forms nearly every Sunday this year.

I’ve concluded that this is on me. I am not yet fighting back as I should. As one surrenders more and more of self to God, it is easy to get “lost”. Old methods no longer work. New methods are uncomfortable or unclear. As a child stumbles while learning to stand and walk, we also struggle with this new life God is building in us, through us.

Submission to and obedience of the Holy Spirit also brings its own challenges. The Holy Spirit can change us in such a profound manner that we find ourself disoriented, seeking comfort and guidance.